VBB 383 A Girl Named Storm: Her Story of Exploitation and Survival!

Intro [00:00:01 - 00:00:19]

Virgin Beauty Podcast. Inspiring women to overcome social stereotypes and share unique life experiences without fear of being defiantly different. Your hosts, Christopher and Heather. Let's talk, shall we?

Christopher [00:00:20 - 00:00:56]

Every card-carrying member or comic book fan knows the name Storm. She's this mutant member of the X-Men with the power to conjure nature's storms as her ally in her fight against evil. Our guest today is also named Storm, but her superpower is disassociation. It's finding the eye, the calm in the middle of any storm that life brings to her in the form of evil. We welcome a girl named Storm back to Virgin Beauty Bitch. Welcome.

Storm [00:00:56 - 00:00:57]

Thank you.

Christopher [00:00:57 - 00:01:26]

Sarah, who at 15 became a human trafficking victim indoctrinated into the sex trade through sheer determination and will. She put her life on a path to becoming an active anti-human trafficking consultant, public speaker, and author of her first book, A Girl Named Storm. A story of exploitation and survival. First off, Heather and I offer our sincere congratulations.

Storm [00:01:26 - 00:01:27]

Thank you so much.

Christopher [00:01:28 - 00:01:42]

Your book is a compelling read. But I'm wondering how does it feel to have a life that you were once so ashamed of that you wouldn't even mention it to your therapist, but now it's out for everyone to consume and judge?

Storm [00:01:42 - 00:02:24]

I think that the release of the book was incredibly overwhelming. It was very challenging. It's one thing to write it; I've read it over probably a hundred times or more. It's one thing to read it in private, and then it's a whole other thing knowing that basically anybody, you know, can buy the book and read very intimate details about your life. So I'm incredibly proud of myself, and I'm very happy with the release, and I really hope that it does help some people, but it has been very difficult.

Heather [00:02:26 - 00:02:58]

That is tremendously, tremendously brave. And the courage you have to move forward through all the different phases of writing it and working with a publisher and getting prepared for what it would mean to have it launched and released, and to where you are now. I undoubtedly know that it is helping other people out there, but I say that always with a caveat that, you know, taking care of ourselves, despite how it can help other people, is so important.

Storm [00:02:59 - 00:03:00]

Yeah. Yeah.

Christopher [00:03:02 - 00:03:12]

When you decided, okay, I'm going to put this on paper, I'm going to share this. What was driving you in that moment? That decision?

Storm [00:03:13 - 00:03:55]

Yeah. When I started writing, I didn't actually think I would share it with anybody. I had just come out of a very abusive relationship, and I had gotten my own little condo. It was a very brave Step. And when I moved in, my nights became very quiet, and I just started writing. That's how it started. I had been working in the anti-human trafficking field for a few years already, and a lot of the people with lived experience who work in the field will share publicly in public speaking their experience. And at that point, I had never done that.

Storm [00:03:55 - 00:04:12]

I would give educational presentations, but never my story. And at the root of it, I think it's just because I felt there was so much that mattered and I couldn't cover it in the way that some other people can.

Christopher [00:04:12 - 00:04:14]

You also had a young daughter.

Storm [00:04:14 - 00:04:15]

I have three children.

Christopher [00:04:15 - 00:04:21]

Yeah. But at that time, you had three children at the time that you started writing? Correct?

Storm [00:04:21 - 00:04:21]

Yes.

Christopher [00:04:21 - 00:04:25]

What role did they play in your being motivated to do this?

Storm [00:04:25 - 00:04:59]

I mean, my children are everything to me as they are to parents, but they are really everything to me. And, you know, I get scared of thinking of my children reading the book. It's hard talking about difficult things with your children sometimes. But, yeah, they support me. I mean, I grew up, graduated high school, college, and university. I did everything with my kids. My son came along later. But yeah, very, very.

Heather [00:05:00 - 00:06:21]

I mean, what a steadfast determination that you have, you know, that everything that you've accomplished and where you are today, I mean, we're in this series, we're in this year of the bitch, and we are really reclaiming the bitch in a different way than what most people put forward as her main persona, if you will. And that persona being the woman who's difficult without reason, and is callous, and mean-spirited. But for Christopher and I, there are so many more, deeper layers of the bitch. And the elements that we're illuminating is from women that we've heard on this show, certainly inspired by you, and others that we've had where there's this energy in women that, you know, you want maybe call it fierce mama bear energy, or that you're not gonna mess with me today energy, or something. When we dig down deep into our soul and say, this is my line, and I'm going to do what's right for me. I'm going to move forward in taking care of myself. And so, you know, we've broken that down into an acronym, the first being B of Betrayal.

Heather [00:06:22 - 00:06:35]

And would love to hear your thoughts on it. It can be about a personal betrayal, or maybe the ways that you feel that society has betrayed women more as a system. But what comes to mind for you with that word betrayal?

Storm [00:06:35 - 00:06:52]

I think that when I think of betrayal, I think of myself. Kind of like how I betrayed myself several times over the years. But I think that's not the answer people are hoping for.

Heather [00:06:53 - 00:06:57]

I think it's a very real answer. I think that's very true.

Christopher [00:06:57 - 00:07:20]

Sarah, that is exactly the answer all of us need to understand. But it didn't start with us. Someone planted a seed in us, trying to make us believe something else of what we actually are. Then that becomes our self-betrayal. But I don't know that we connect the dots. We just blame ourselves. Or blame someone else completely.

Storm [00:07:20 - 00:07:23]

Yes, that's true.

Christopher [00:07:23 - 00:07:54]

For you to recognize that is phenomenal. I want to read you something about what you said last time you were here. When it comes to the bitch, we asked you which of our three words you wanted to or you connected with the most, and you chose bitch. “That's the word I gravitate to because I think that when you go through trafficking, or any form of abuse, per se, I think that you become typically quite submissive.

Christopher [00:07:55 - 00:08:28]

You're forced into submission by your abuser. And for me, in my journey, I was so scared of being a bitch. I had this fear that if I asserted myself even slightly, I was a bitch. And I really tried to learn that it's okay to be a bitch.” That was three years ago. So I think you understand there's something within you that looks out for you.

Storm [00:08:28 - 00:08:29]

Oh, definitely.

Christopher [00:08:29 - 00:08:40]

That protects you, that says, okay, this is as far as I can go. This is as far as I'm going to go. And we call that the bitch. And we celebrate that.

Storm [00:08:40 - 00:08:41]

I love that.

Christopher [00:08:42 - 00:09:01]

Like, there are so many parts in your book when you, or when I see that person come up in you. Obviously, at that moment, you're not calling it that, but that fierce creature within you that says, I need to protect Sarah. Okay? So back off.

Storm [00:09:03 - 00:09:27]

Yeah. Yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about. And I can think of certain parts in my story where that comes out. It's funny because the people I'm closest to would definitely call me a bitch. I don't have a problem asserting myself in my private life. I could do less of it, actually.

Storm [00:09:28 - 00:09:41]

But then, when it comes to so many other situations, or almost all situations outside of that circle, I. Yeah, I have a difficult time.

Christopher [00:09:41 - 00:09:59]

I'm thinking that the hardest thing for you to face is the “I” in our B.I.T.C.H, which is Identity. Knowing who you actually are compared to all things in order to just survive. Like, for you, what does that word mean for you: identity?

Storm [00:09:59 - 00:10:40]

A lot of my work when I was in the field was based around identity because I thought it was very important for the people that I was working with, for the same reason that you're talking about, to have something to hold on to, a foundation of trust within yourself, knowing yourself. So I did a lot of that work to get to where I am today in terms of figuring out who I am, what I like, and who I'm not. And I think you go through many phases of that in your life, and that's kind of where I'm at now. I think identity is very important.

Sorry.

Heather [00:10:42 - 00:11:13]

No, that's perfect. That's perfect. I mean, in the journey of your identity. Because I think we believe our identity, I mean, it's an ever-long question in the shaping of your identity through all the chapters of your life to where you are now. Like what sort of stands true for you around this emergence of we're forever re-meeting our new self or reimagining ourselves.

Heather [00:11:13 - 00:11:21]

But in that reimagination of you, like getting to where you are now, like what does that mean to you?

Storm [00:11:23 - 00:12:09]

I think one thing that. I hope I'm understanding your question correctly, but there's a lot of shame in the experience or other experiences similar. And that can really pull people back. That shame and the fear. There's so much just the negative voices in your head of other people telling you what you are and who you are. And those act like forces to pull you back constantly. And they seem stronger than your small acts of becoming. So it really does take a lot for folks sometimes to come into themselves.

Christopher [00:12:09 - 00:12:19]

I'm going to put an identity in front of you, and I think this will make you see how far you've come. And the identity is mother. What does that mean to you?

Storm [00:12:21 - 00:12:37]

Mother protector. You know, I'm not sure, to be honest. When you say it, I just think of cuddling my children. Love. Unconditional love. I'm not sure, Christopher. I'm sorry.

Christopher [00:12:37 - 00:12:56]

You are sure. That's the thing. It is exactly as you say, love and unconditional love. That's an identity that you are sure of because when you're with your children, it is unmistakable how you feel about them. That is a solid identity of who you are.

Christopher [00:12:56 - 00:13:14]

And I get that from you. Whenever you speak about your children, you light up, your eyes glow about how much you love your children. I know in your story as a young girl, you told your mother you'd never want to be a mom, right?

Storm [00:13:15 - 00:13:16]

A lot.

Christopher [00:13:16 - 00:13:25]

But here you are. When did you trust yourself to know that I can be an actual something I never wanted to be, a mother?

Storm [00:13:27 - 00:14:02]

I didn't really, like, I got pregnant unexpectedly, and nobody thought that I should keep my child. I was in no place to have a child. And there was just something that was in me that felt like, no, I want to. I think I can do it. And when my daughter was born.

I'm so sorry.

When my daughter, my oldest daughter was born, they laid her on my chest, and she looked up at me, looked up at me.

Storm [00:14:02 - 00:14:21]

And I remember turning my head towards my mom and saying to her, oh my gosh, mommy, like, she loves me. And it was this whole new feeling that I had felt. Yeah. And I think, since the day she was born, I've been quite confident as a mother.

Christopher [00:14:21 - 00:14:47]

That's the trust I'm talking about. For you may not have called it trust, but you loved that experience so much that you trusted yourself that you could love this person, and take care of this person. That's the trust, that's the shift I'm talking about. You never had that before. Wow, that's powerful.

Heather [00:14:48 - 00:15:01]

Just on that, would you tell us a little bit more about your book? Like just the process for you to write it, what's in it, and a little bit more about your story for those that haven't heard our first episode with you.

Storm [00:15:01 - 00:16:06]

Yeah, so I guess some background on myself. I'm a survivor of sex trafficking, and I had a career in the anti-human trafficking field for a long time. And years ago, I started writing this story, my story, and it follows Storm, that's myself.

And sorry.

You kind of walk through the process of trafficking, and my thought process behind it kind of was like having a large case study just because of the work that I did. And so you kind of follow through her life step by step from the age of 15 until the end. And you follow her trauma, you learn a bit about exploitation. I hope. And I hope, at the end, people feel a sense of recovery and healing when it all comes together.

Storm [00:16:07 - 00:16:13]

The entire book felt quite easy to write, honestly, except for the end.

Christopher [00:16:14 - 00:16:25]

I love it when you say in your book, “You may think that enduring trauma is hard, but healing is harder. Healing has a way of feeling like insanity sometimes.”

Storm [00:16:25 - 00:16:43]

Yeah, I just read over that section today before our call because that part is important to me. I do believe that healing is such an intentional process.

And I'm sorry, I don't know how to continue.

Heather [00:16:44 - 00:17:00]

It's okay. No worries. Healing is. Is the “H” for us in B.I.T.C.H. And it’s, I agree with you, it is one of, if not the most hard step.

Heather [00:17:00 - 00:17:22]

And we had someone come on our show and say that healing is moving energy with intention. And I thought that that was very lovely because it felt empowering, and it also felt active, and it didn't feel like it had a goalpost. It felt very individual.

Storm [00:17:26 - 00:17:51]

So that's very interesting about the goalpost. I've never really thought of it that way because I think my life has been these goal posts, these chapters of next, next, next, and constantly pursuing, I guess, a sense of it being done. So that's interesting that it doesn't have a goalpost.

Christopher [00:17:52 - 00:18:11]

I think that's the satisfying and maddening thing about healing.  It’s that one day you feel, all right. All right, I'm through with that. The next day, you could crash right back down to the floor again. That's the magic of, unfortunately, the process of healing.

Storm [00:18:11 - 00:18:25]

Yeah, that's. You fail so many times. Fail is not a good word, but that's how I felt throughout my journey. Like, you hit walls after walls after walls. You give up several times, but somehow you just keep going.

Christopher [00:18:25 - 00:18:50]

I think we think of healing in the wrong way. I think we think of healing as our body heals. A process. And then at the end of it, whatever it is that was broken or cut, that's now gone. We can move on. Healing our souls, healing our spirit, isn't like that. It is forever and ever and ever ongoing. It's. It. There's no end to it, ever. And I don't know that we can equate that, knowing how the body heals.

Heather [00:18:56 - 00:18:57]

Yeah.

Storm [00:18:58 - 00:18:59]

Yeah.

Christopher [00:18:59 - 00:19:30]

You are an inspiration. Even. You know, I get. Sorry, Sarah, but you know, I get the sense that you feel broken. But I see this beautiful creature that offers so much by what she's gone through. It's remarkable what it is that you have to offer and how you offer it with such beauty and grace after what you've gone through. I hope maybe someday when you look in the mirror, you see those things about yourself.

Storm [00:19:31 - 00:19:48]

I have. I definitely have. Again, it comes in waves. So, I mean, the last couple of years, I think I was living on cloud nine, doing very well, and, yeah, now, I'm not.

Christopher [00:19:48 - 00:19:58]

That's a cycle of a person healing. We want to thank you for having the courage to do this, but we can empathize.

Heather [00:19:58 - 00:20:05]

Do you mind telling us, Sarah, like, what you feel like the change has been in these last couple of years for you?

Storm [00:20:05 - 00:20:07]

To be so good, or.

Heather [00:20:08 - 00:20:49]

Yeah, like you just shared, I felt like I was at a certain place and things were going so well, and I don't feel that way anymore. And like, I've certainly experienced those sorts of dips, and dip is a fluffy way of saying very, very deep lows. And I think that we can be so careful and worried, and I don't know, we just carry so much with us when we do go into a low. And I just, I do feel like so many people are going through a deep low as well. And so like, I'm wondering if you're willing to share what that’s been like for you to be in the low.

Storm [00:20:49 - 00:21:55]

Yeah, I think because I had reached a state of such joy in the years leading up, I felt fantastic in my career. I felt like all my hard work had paid off in something great. I had, you know, my home. My children were happy. Everything was really good. I had a great boyfriend, and I still have a great boyfriend. But then, I don't know it, I started just to really struggle a few months prior to November, and I think, I'm not sure. I think I got really lonely in the work that I was doing and tired. So, I crashed pretty hard, and honestly, full transparency. I'm already crying, so why not? I ended up in the hospital, and I just spent.

Sorry.

Heather [00:22:12 - 00:22:52]

Yeah, that's okay.

Thank you. Thank you for sharing. I think that it is, it's so real what you're saying, you know, for things to feel so good that you've worked so hard to get out of all of the things that you've gone through, you're feeling good in your career, you've got the house you want, the boyfriend that is going, everything's going well. And life just has a way of crashing down, down all around you and taking the things that are feeling so right. And I think that, you know, like the saying, as cliche as it is, that this too shall pass. It’s the good and the bad that come and go, it seems.

Storm [00:22:54 - 00:22:54]

Yeah.

Heather [00:22:55 - 00:22:59]

But that also means that the bad is not going to stay.

Storm [00:22:59 - 00:22:59]

Right.

Heather [00:22:59 - 00:23:01]

But this low is not going to stay.

Storm [00:23:01 - 00:23:25]

Yeah. And in full, like, I'm actually doing really well. Doesn't seem like this in the call. Just the first time I've really spoken since leaving. So I've been doing really well, you know, I'm doing those things to build up my identity, trying new things. I ran a half-marathon. I got into gardening.

Heather[00:23:26 - 00:23:27]

Yeah, girl. Get it.

Christopher [00:23:27 - 00:23:28]

Yes.

Storm [00:23:28 - 00:23:34]

Yeah. I am doing well. It doesn't seem like I am, but it's just overwhelm.

Heather [00:23:34 - 00:23:44]

I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy that you're pursuing new things that help. Help rebuild, you know, help show that there's a different thing that we can do in each day.

Heather [00:23:46 - 00:23:48]

That is beautiful.

Storm [00:23:49 - 00:23:58]

Thank you. Yeah, it has been hard, but nice. Just the big question of who, who, who will I be now?

Christopher [00:23:58 - 00:24:25]

You know, that's exciting. You get to choose. And you cannot underestimate what it must be to go over where you've been, to walk that rocky glass, scattered ground all over again through this book that has to impact you in some way when it's now out in public.

Storm [00:24:27 - 00:25:02]

I think what was hard about it is that even if I've worked through so many feelings of shame, there's still a lot of shame involved in my story. And I think I felt embarrassed. I stayed in bed for a very long time, and I just kept thinking of different people who might read certain parts, and I felt this overwhelming feeling of being embarrassed. But now I don't feel that way anymore. I'm like, I wrote a freaking book.

Heather [00:25:02 - 00:25:04]

Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did.

Christopher [00:25:08 - 00:25:48]

I'll share a quick secret with you. Like, Heather and I have been doing this now for eight plus years. We've talked to a lot of women who've gone through a lot of stuff. And the point where they've made the most gain in their lives to move forward is being completely, honestly vulnerable. That is when truth comes back to them. The people who love them, the people who care about them, the people who want them to succeed, those are the people who rally around them at that point. But they have to be completely open and vulnerable first, if that offers any consequence.

Storm [00:25:48 - 00:26:14]

No, I. I think the majority of things that I'm very proud of when I look back were the hardest things, most vulnerable things. Everyone, I think, kind of feels the same way. And so today I had a moment where I thought to myself, in five years, I'm going to look back and think, why did I ever have any negative feelings in the world about this?

Heather [00:26:16 - 00:26:43]

And the people, like Christopher just said, the people meant for you will surround you with love and compassion and care. And I, you know, Christopher has read your book. I can't wait to read it myself. But, you know, I think that all too often women are ashamed of all these things. And often the things that happen to us. It is the shame of the perpetrator. They are the ones who should carry that shame.

Storm [00:26:43 - 00:27:11]

That's very true. And just to touch on the people, because I feel like I kind of floated past that. I have amazing people in my life and, you know, people who were there every day through the hard days. So it really shows you, I think, what's really important in life. Not working every hour of the day. Yeah.

Heather [00:27:11 - 00:27:13]

That's lovely. I'm so glad.

Christopher [00:27:13 - 00:27:19]

You are a. You are a person worthy of love. That is undeniable.

Storm [00:27:20 - 00:27:21]

Thank you.

Christopher [00:27:21 - 00:27:43]

If you ever doubt that again, the people around you will show you that you are worthy of love. Your courage is inspiring. It really is. And the dark side of the moon always becomes the bright side of the moon. Yeah.

Heather [00:27:43 - 00:27:44]

Full rotation.

Christopher [00:27:44 - 00:27:45]

We cannot thank you enough for this.

Storm [00:27:45 - 00:27:46]

Yes.

Christopher [00:27:46 - 00:27:55]

We can't thank you enough for doing this with us. Thank you for trusting us enough with your darkest moments. We appreciate you.

Storm [00:27:55 - 00:27:56]

Thank you very much.

Christopher [00:27:57 - 00:28:00]

And we're gonna have you back. Okay,

Storm [00:28:03 - 00:28:04]

A follow-up when I'm not crying.

Christopher [00:28:05 - 00:28:06]

We're gonna have you back crying.

Heather [00:28:06 - 00:28:16]

We love the emotion. You know, it's. That's the realest part of being human. So as long as you're willing and comfortable, we're here to walk beside you.

Storm [00:28:17 - 00:28:22]

Thank you very much. And it has been lovely speaking to both of you, and yeah, I'm very grateful and thank you.

Christopher [00:28:22 - 00:28:45]

So, your book, A Girl Named Storm! I recommend it highly. It is truly heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time. And that's. That's all you. That is all you. And thank you for writing it. Thank you so much.

Storm [00:28:45 - 00:28:46]

Thank you.

Christopher [00:28:46 - 00:28:49]

Thank you for being here. And you have been listening to

Heather [00:28:49 - 00:28:56]

The Virgin,

Christopher

The Beauty

Heather

And the Bitch in her year B I T C H coming at you

Christopher [00:28:56 - 00:28:57]

2026. Find us like us. Share us.

Speaker E [00:28:57 - 00:29:21]

To become a partner in the VBB community. We invite you to find us @virgin beautybitch.com. Like us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, and share us with people who are defiantly different like you. Until next time, thanks for listening.