In relationships, are you the jealous type? What happens should a stranger stares a little too long or with too much lascivious lust at your spouse or partner? What if you could find a playful way to diffuse those potentially volitive emotions, with some playful help from your partner?
We share a conversation with relationship coach Christina Hart who talks about this potential relationship killer – jealousy: “men and women spend a tremendous about of time in guilt and shame because they sometimes have a desire for more than one person. We spend a lot of time wishing that wouldn’t happen and hoping that when we walk down the isle that will never happen again. I think we need to look at that differently. Yes, we make a commitment to one person and hope to deepen that connection through the rest of our lives but if we can bring lightness and fun for our attractions. I’ve seen couples struggled with this to the point where he didn’t like it when she got all dolled up because he could feel the desire from other men when she was in the room. People want to totally shut out that attraction and they spend so much time and energy worried about their partners being attracted to other people. Guess what, that is never going to stop.”
On another topic, I was watching a movie recently involving two Type A, Alpha personalities, a woman, and a man, doing their best to connect intimately but finding real resistance. The best line in the movie was a very frustrated and confused male character saying to the female, “I don’t know if you get madder when I treat you like a woman, or if it’s when I treat you like a man.” Many couples share this exact dilemma but aren’t even aware they are in a constant battle over who gets to wear the pants in the relationship: “It comes down to polarity. We need polarity in intimate relationships. For there to be any spark and explosion it can only come when one partner is in the feminine and the other is in the masculine. I’ve seen more fights happen with couples when they are both in their masculine so it is well worth looking at ways where you’re not both battling for the masculine role. Both partners being in their masculine at the same time inevitably leads to disconnect and resentment.”
That’s just a taste of where we went with our provocative conversation with relationship coach Christina Hart. For more listen on our landing page or podcast page.