As a woman, I recall the first time I was asked by an intimate partner during a sexual encounter - what is it that you like? I was in my 40’s and I was dumbfounded, I was lost for words, I went completely silent. It took me some time to realize why that question had such an impact on me. As women, it's so rare that we are we asked for our opinion that to hear the question under any context is a foreign experience.
In our world, romance means you're supposed to be able to read the mind of the other person, it doesn’t occur to people that even if we could read your partner's thoughts is that really a strong base for a healthy relationship. I ask, is there not supposed to be dialogue in relationships?
For centuries women were made to believe that what they felt or what they thought was of no importance to anyone. If you believed that then how could your own thoughts be of importance even to you.
When I was actually asked the question by my partner, what do I like, it became a pivotal moment in my life. It was one where I realized that this man is actually looking at me, he wasn't looking at a projection of what he thought came in a package in the shape of a woman, he was looking straight into me, he was seeing me as I am.
In my relationship with that man, for the first time in my life, I found it really easy to say exactly what I was thinking and what I was feeling, but only because some part of me knew that he would be ok with whatever I had to share.
To some degree, I feel women are always hedging their bets in relationships. If you’re going to be a good little girl then there will always be all sorts of information and examples around to tell you exactly what it takes to be a good little girl and that will never include how to be a sex goddess or a bitch.
This is but one of the spicy topics we share with professional Astrologer, psychic, writer, and facilitator, Lesley Francis. PodCast #26